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Tales from the Mile High Club

What a tweet!

17th July 2012

I know that most girls my age just love social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace but I just can’t be bothered with them. I went out for a meal with a bunch of friends recently and I swear that one of the girls hardly looked up from her smartphone, so intent was she in reading and sending messages. In my experience guys aren’t so hung up on the technology but I guess I could be wrong having read about actor Charlie Sheen’s Twitter habits. Apparently he used to tweet whilst having sex with a girlfriend! I wouldn’t mind but the sexy girl in question is Bree Olsen and if anyone has ever seen one of her adult movies they would surely think that there are better things to do in bed with this pocket sex bomb than to play with a phone! The blonde babe is also a good twenty plus years younger than the ‘Two and a Half Men’ star so surely she would be more than enough to get him going! To give the hot girl credit she says that she didn’t mind and that in fact she thought it was funny but I have to say that if any guy is tweeting when he is in bed with me then there will be hell to pay! If I am in bed that means only one thing – I want your complete and undivided attention!

At one point the forty six year old Sheen had over a million followers on the social networking site Twitter, and three girlfriends sharing his bed. His lust is legendary and it must have been his tiger blood that enabled him to satisfy so many women at the same time, that or the copious substances he is alleged to have consumed. Apparently he has just quit the site, which will come as a blow to some of the sexy escorts at Heathrow airport escorts and at Gatwick airport escorts who have been avidly following the sex mad superstar since he passed through Heathrow a year ago. I will not suggest that he called the escort agency and asked for some intimate companionship but suffice to say that the guy does love female company and can’t get enough of sexy girls, just like the clients of Airport escorts.

Twitter for me is for twits and I have no interest in reading about what someone is having for breakfast, for lunch or for dinner. I don’t want to know that you are trying on some hat or other and I definitely don’t want to listen to some celebrity drivel, self-serving and smug comments served up to sad ‘followers’. Even the word ‘follower’ conjures up an image of sheep! I wonder how many people this last paragraph has offended! And the funny thing is I didn’t even see the irony of my writing a blog on a website and using it to decry others writing what is in effect opinions on websites – of dear!